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Who's Killing the Muppets?/Family Guy
Cast *Gonzo as Stewie Griffin *Fozzie Bear as Brian Griffin *Kermit the Frog as Jesus *Miss Piggy as Jillian *Scooter as Glenn Quagmire *Hooded Killer as Peter Griffin *Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as Mayor Adam West *Beaker as Bertram *Rowlf the Dog as Death *Dr. Teeth as Vinny Griffin *Lew Zealand as Tom Tucker *Swedish Chef as Ollie Williams *Animal as Chris Griffin *Steve Martin as Jasper *Camilla the Chicken as Lois Griffin *Statler as Randy Newman *Waldorf as Seamus *Penguins as Vern and Johnny *Skeeter as Cleveland Brown (different) Transcript *'Stewie Griffin:' For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am. *'Peter Griffin:' No! For your next feat, you die! (Peter Griffin fires a cannon, decapitating Stewie, and Stewie's corpse falls on the hot coals. Then the Hooded Killer places a water sack on the scene) Stewie's Funeral and Burial Ceremony *'Jesus:' Stewie died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, JASPER THE DOG, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! *'Jasper:' (With a prank arrow hat on his head) "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He makes me like.." *'Jillian ''(interrupting):' Oh, are we burying him in the city? (Lois talks and jumps on Stewie's casket as it gets lowered into the ground) *'Brian Griffin:' You know, the last time a Griffin died was... *'Jasper (interrupting):' Excuse me? *'Brian Griffin:' Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"? *'Jasper:' No, this is a funeral. I’m working. Do I come to where you work and knock the thing outta your mouth?! *'Jesus:' Wow, Jasper’s working blue, but he’s right. We vowed never to talk about...that night. '(People turn to look at Glenn Quagmire) (Glenn Quagmire waves at them) Later *'''Brian Griffin: And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats"! Wocka-wocka! *'Peter Griffin:' (Right up at the door) Hey, Stewie? Why did the kid turn red? *'Brian Griffin:' I don’t know, stranger. *'Peter Griffin:' Because he was em-bar-rassed! *'Brian Griffin: '(Sarcastically claps) Wocka-wocka... *'Peter Griffin:' Then how about this? Because I total STAB YOU! (Peter stabs Brian in the neck and then the back with a knife) *'Brian Griffin:' What a showstopper. Ooohh! (Falls on stage) *'Randy Newman:' See? I told you the kid was gonna die on stage tonight. (Randy Newman and Seamus laugh) *'Brian Griffin:' Hey, guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance? *'Seamus:' You're an ambulance. (Randy Newman and Seamus laugh again, and Brian is dragged offscreen by Peter Griffin and murdered. Then a red wagon is rolled out on stage) *'Jesus:' (Vern and Johnny roll Fozzie's dead body away) First Stewie, now Brian. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...? *'Jillian:' Don’t say that name, jeezie. *'Jesus:' OOOH, Jillians’s telling me what to do. Wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Jillians’s telling me what to do! Wow, must be a day that ends in N! (Glenn Quagmire walks by carrying a boxful of props) Hey, uh, Quagmire? *'Glenn Quagmire:' Oh! Hey there, boss. *'Jesus:' We need to talk about Cleveland’s death. *'Glenn Quagmire:' Why, sure. I love talking about my twin brother, if not for that tragic accident... *'Jesus:' You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you. Family Guy Babies Flashback *'Baby Jesus:' Let’s play The Little Mermaid! *'Baby Peter Griffin:' Let’s question Jesus’s sensability. Wocka-wocka! *'Baby Chris Griffin:' Hold on! Let me grab my floaties. (Leaves) *'Baby Lois Griffin:' What a nerd. *'Baby Bonnie Swanson:' Ahem. Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid". *'Baby Lois Griffin:' Mermaids aren't fat! (Pushes Baby Piggy) *'Baby Jesus' Yikes! Lois, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away. (Lois smacks Jesus) *'Baby Peter Griffin:' NANNY! LOIS'S HITTING US AGAIN! *'Baby Jesus:' Yeah, who's the homo now? (Lois beats up Peter, and Lois gets hit in the back by Jesus with a red wagon and knocked headfirst into the pool) If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever. (All Family Guy Babies agree and drown Lois in the pool) *'All Family Guy Babies:' NANNY! (Present) *'Glenn Quagmire:' You killed my brother?!? *'Jesus:' Yeah, well, It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Cleveland’s come back from the grave for revenge! *'Glenn Quagmire:' Oh, Cleveland will have her ''revenge… (Glenn reveals himself to be Cleveland, the Killer, in disguise) *'Jesus and Jillian: AAAAHHH!!! *'''Cleveland Brown: (Takes out knife, and attacks Jesus) Fifteen seconds till your death! *'Jillian:' HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick her, but misses) Wuh! *'Cleveland Brown:' Here it comes! Showtime! (Lois talks in Germany, holding a bow and arrow. Subtitle: "Get away from him, you guy!") *'Cleveland Brown:' You can’t shoot me! Mothers don’t even have fingers! (Lois fires an arrow, which runs through Cleveland's head) OOHH!! (Falls to the floor with Jasper behind her) *'Jasper ''(chuckling):''' That bit never gets old. (Dances as funny music starts) Category:Who's Killing the Muppets? Category:Family Guy spoofs Category:Robot Chicken Parodies Category:Robot Chicken